I have my reasons

I am not what you would call a "people person."  I'm easily frustrated, irritated, and annoyed by people.  I'm sure a lot of people feel this way on occasion... not me.  It's an everyday kind of thing.

My husband has a pretty good theory as to why I'm like this

I was one of those girls that grew up way too slow & then way too fast.  I was an unbelievably shy girl.  I didn't really come out of my shell until my senior year.  That's when I met Christopher.  He was one of those boys from the "wrong side of the tracks."  He had a baby.  Lived in a rough household.  Was far from a straight A student (like myself).  I saw a side to him that not many others had ever been given the chance to see. 

We both fell head over heels.  Maybe it was the fact that opposites attract.  Or the fact that i wanted to fix his problems. Or we were young and naive.    We dated for 7 months before I wound up being pregnant (i was the LAST person people expected to end up pregnant...) 

Having a baby made me grow up.  When Conner was just 3 months old, Chris & I went through something that I would never wish onto anyone!  I'm still not ready to talk about it.  Some of you know what we went through... I'm sure one day I'll be ready.  Today just isn't that day. 

Because of what we did go through, I grew up so fast.  I shut myself off from the world for over a year.  I cut off all of my friends (thankfully they all stuck around).  I hated the world.  I hated everyone.  I hated myself.  I became bitter.

Chris told me that he thinks being forced to grow up so fast made me look at people differently.  I see people out, wasting their money, partying... & I look at them in disgust.  I get annoyed & irritated.  I suppose it's the fact that I feel much older than I am.  I see the people my age doing things that people my age should be doing, and I see them as immature.  I guess somewhere down, deep inside I think "I'm 22... I don't do THOSE things... why do they?"  BECAUSE they are still 22 at heart... I'm much, much older. 

Darius Rucker's (he'll always be Hootie to me) song "This" basically sums up my life.  I hate the things that I had to go through at such a young age, but I love my life now.  I know things would be so different if my past wasn't just the way it is.  God makes everything happen for a reason.  He never puts you through more than you can handle. 

This post jumped all over the place.  I hope you got the general idea.  Basically... if you see me looking at you in disgust, just remember that it's not you... well, it's most likely not you.  I just really don't like people...